by Kody Kerkeslager; Equine Professional and Horsemanship Instructor
July 1, 2025
This blog is to the ones who aren’t sure if equine-assisted therapy is for them, to the ones wanting to change their “I’m the boss” horsemanship ways, the ones who already know the endless possibilities an equine partnership can bring, and the ones who just want a good story to read. To all of you guys, I’m here to tell you that you can create a relationship that will give you more than a horse to ride. You can create a relationship that will heal your heart when you need it most, teach you life lessons, and carry you on your hard days. I want this blog to be your push to go and try equine assisted therapy or building an amazing relationship with an equine partner.
So back to the question “Can you really have a relationship with a horse.” The answer is yes. Yes you can.
Let me give you some background before I share the story that gave me the idea to write this blog. Boone and I have been working together to build a trusting, safe, and supportive relationship for about nine months. We have done tons of liberty work all around the ranch working on attachment, detachment, and understanding difficult but fair requests. We have recently been working on realizing that mounting is safe. To work on this we have had conversations about putting a bareback pad on, putting a bridle on, and standing at the mounting block. While none of it is perfect, it’s just where it needs to be.
One day, I took Boone into the outdoor arena to play together and have some “me time”. Time doing something that I want to do. Me time, because I haven’t had any in a while. I have been too busy over committing myself to please other people.
My time with Boone was going to be all liberty work… until it wasn’t. I started by asking for attachment. I could tell that I was not present by the way Boone acted, he didn’t connect with me right away like he usually does. I became frustrated because I’m not the one to usually be “not present”. I’m always present. But in that moment, I was not. I was focused on what I had to do the rest of the day to please other people.
I then realized I needed to regulate myself. I went to the mounting block on the other side of the arena and cried. That’s when our relationship really shined bright. He followed me over and just stood there for a few minutes, until I got myself together. He helped me come back to the moment. I tried some connection work, but quickly went right back to worrying about the future and was no longer present. I decided I wasn’t going to make him put up with my feelings about how I was going about my life. I wasn’t going to have him deal with the consequences of me not setting healthy boundaries. Instead, we went up to the barn to do some daily care for him.
While doing that, Meagan texted me “Would you like to ride in 20 minutes?” I was unsure if I could do it and put Boone through the emotional state I was in. For some reason, I decided to say yes to the ride so I took him out into the round pen and did some connection work there. We did not get very connected, but I still wanted to try to ride. So I went over to the bareback pad, I took a moment to settle down. While I was settling down, Boone walked over and basically grabbed the pad for me. Then he walked over so that his side was next to me and let me put the pad on. Not a tense muscle in his body. After that I went to grab the bridle, and he put his head in the bridle the first chance he could. I asked him to follow me for a little and then he lined up at the mounting block and stood there like an angel. Saying “Get on. It’s my turn to carry you.”
Throughout the ride Boone was helping me be present again. He took the reins on this ride and led me the whole way around the trail. He tried new things and hard things, tested me when I started to become un-present, and never failed to bring me back to the moment. So thank you Boone, for carrying me. A day I really needed it.
So if you are someone on the fence about equine assisted therapy I encourage you to give it a shot. Give it a shot because you can foster a relationship with a horse. A true, honest relationship. And if you’re the one wanting to change your horsemanship style, I also encourage you. You got the technique, now go learn the connection to deepen your relationship with your horse. And if you are one who knows how amazing a relationship with a horse can be, I hope you liked my story.
Wherever you are at on your journey, we are here for you. Our human and equine team will walk alongside you so you can find hope, healing, and wholeness in your life. You are worth it. Don't hesitate, reach out to us today.
