by Cassandra Boccardi, MA; Counselor at Take Heart
August 11, 2025
I see it too. I find myself saying this to our horses so often. Sometimes, something they see or hear startles them and they freeze, wide-eyed. At Take Heart, when that happens, we press into attunement. That means we turn toward them emotionally and even express that physically. We respond in a way they can feel that says we’re feeling it with them. We enter the moment with them.
We look with them at what startled them, telling them with our whole body and presence, “I see it too.” I’m with you. You’re not alone. I see how scary or confusing that was for you. We offer understanding of their feelings and needs. We don’t invalidate them saying something like, “Really? You were afraid of that, come on!”
We offer coregulation. Slowly and gently we breathe with them. We exhale. We don’t rush them. We don’t force them to push through or move on when they’re not ready, they’re still feeling confused or scared, or they’re processing what has happened. We hold space for them to come back to their body, back to the present moment, back to us. Then we invite them to take the next step together, because we know they can.
So many of our clients love this way of interacting with our horses in equine therapy sessions. They have deep compassion and empathy for them. They want to take good care of them physically and emotionally. Yet it can be so challenging to apply the same principles and process to ourselves.
What do we do in the moments when we feel anxious, afraid, on edge, or overwhelmed? Do we tell ourselves to just push through and keep going? To get over it? Do we invalidate ourselves, saying other people have it worse? Do we call ourselves weak? Do we force ourselves to go from task to task, ignoring what our body is telling us?
We can learn a different way. We can learn to attune to ourselves. We can validate what we’re feeling and what our body is experiencing. We can slow down and give ourselves time to feel and process. We can be gentle in the way we talk to ourselves. We can give ourselves the space to be human. We can let someone see how confusing or scary it is and then take the next step together.
Spending time on the ranch, whether in a counseling session or in my own horse time, I find myself getting synchronized with this new rhythm. I’m developing a habit. I’m embodying a way of relating, even to myself. It takes repetition. We need to have the experience over and over again….and over again. Slowly but surely, our neuropathways change, and we find ourselves doing things differently with less effort. It’s like muscle memory. Each time I tell Boone or Harry or Zeus, “I see it too”, I’m supporting them and building new neuropathways for myself.
So, whatever you’re carrying today, you don’t have to keep pushing through. Try a different rhythm. You have permission to slow down and hold space for yourself. You can even stop, as if you were with one of our horses saying, “I see it too.” If you have a pet at home, you can try practicing with them! Whatever way you choose, you won’t regret a rhythm realignment!
Wherever you are at on your journey, we are here for you. Our human and equine team will walk alongside you so you can find hope, healing, and wholeness in your life. You are worth it. Reach out to us today.
