This TCK Found a Home with Horses -

This TCK found a home with horses

by Nicole, BS; Business Operations Manager

April 5 , 2024

You may be wondering what “TCK” means. TCK stands for Third Culture Kid. What is that?!

A Third Culture Kid is someone who spends a good portion of their formative years in a country and culture other than their passport country. For example- I am American, but I was born and raised in West Africa. It is an experience I wouldn’t trade for anything.

But it does bring its own set of challenges. For starters, how do I answer the very simple question, “Where are you from?” For as long as I can remember, that has been a hard question to answer. “Well, I am kind of from Pennsylvania, but also from West Africa…” “What?! How are you white and from West Africa?!”

On the outside you would think I am a typical American, I don’t even have an accent. And yet, I don’t feel like a typical American. But, I also am not Senegalese (the country I lived in)- although I often feel a closer connection to that way of life.

Growing up especially, I didn’t understand most of the American culture. Every few years, we would come back to the U.S. for a year. A lot of people figured we were “coming home” when we came back to the U.S. But, was it actually home? The U.S. was a somewhat foreign place to me that I only visited every few years. It wasn’t where my friends were.

I went to a different school each time and experienced a lot of culture shock in “my” own culture. One example of this: When I was in high school, I spent one year here in the U.S. During an orientation, someone brought up Jersey Shore in conversation. A few years prior to that, I had lived in a small town in Pennsylvania called Jersey Shore. Desperate to be part of the conversation and fit in, I thought to myself, “This is it! This is how I can connect with them!” Excitedly I joined the conversation and said, “Oh yeah! I lived in Jersey Shore- it’s a great place!” Only to receive blank stares as I realized they were talking about the reality TV show. Oops!

Even as I started to get to know people in my school and in my youth group at school- my peers didn’t know what to do with me. I didn’t understand so much of their world, but I looked like I should. I also wasn’t going to be there for more than a year, so how much time do you invest in getting to know someone?

There are so many awkward social moments I have experienced over the years as a result of being a TCK. There are so many weird questions I have been asked- “Did you live in a mud hut? Did you have running water? Did you have to hunt for food? Did you ride an elephant to school? Do you speak the clickey language?” I quickly learned there is a lot of ignorance about the rest of the world.

Don’t get me wrong- I still would not change it for anything. The experience of growing up in a different culture, of seeing the world through a different lens, of having friends from so many different cultures, outweighs any awkwardness I experienced.

If you are a TCK or know a TCK well, you will know that one of the biggest struggles we face is this idea of “home”. Where do we call home? Is it the place of my ethnic origins? Is it the place where I was born and spent most of my life? Is it in airports? (Yes- we do feel at home in airports!)

Is my “home” a specific place in time? If I go back now, it is a very different place than when I grew up. I don’t know if I would feel at home like I did when I grew up. And yet, I find that my heart often longs for the West African way of life.

Us TCKs will often spend a good portion of our lives pondering this question of “what is home to me?”

Enter Take Heart to the scene…

I found Take Heart less than a year after I graduated high school and moved to the States permanently. This question of where and what is home was fresh on my mind. And then I started working with the horses…

At the time, Take Heart was at a beautiful dairy farm and consisted of Charley and the dairy farmer’s two horses: Cocoa and Choca. I started volunteering to help with barn duty- feeding, mucking, and taking in and out. As I got more comfortable, Meagan let me spend more intentional time with them. And slowly, I began to feel at home.

During a difficult time of culture shock, figuring out how to be an adult, missing my friends that I had spent so much of my life with but who were now spread out across the world, and transitioning to a whole new way of life, Take Heart was a place of solitude. The horses didn’t judge me or look at me weird for not knowing American pop culture references. They didn’t ask me ignorant questions about where I grew up. They didn’t act weird around me because I was this strange American-ish kid from Africa.

I was just me- Nicole. I found home.

As time went on, my job took me out to Colorado for a few years. And then, God told me “Nicole, it is time to go back home.” He called me back to Take Heart and despite the years that had passed, being with the horses again felt just like coming home. One horse in particular- Noble.

Part of my heart will ALWAYS belong to West Africa. That was my first home. I look forward to that day when I go back to visit. My family is also home to me, no matter where in the world we are. I am grateful for my experiences and that I have pieces of my heart in different parts of the world and with different people.

And yet, I know that God has given me a new home now. This TCK found a home with horses.

What is “home” to you? Is it possible that if no location has felt like home, that maybe your family feels like home? Your friends? A loved one? A pet? A herd of horses?

If you’re not sure what that feeling of home is like, I invite you to come to Take Heart. Experience what I and so many others have felt- a sense of belonging, safety, and worthiness: HOME.

To my fellow TCKs- if you are struggling and would like to talk, I am here! You are not alone. Please reach out.

A TCK at Home with Horses